Midnight Kisses Page 14

  Next to him, Renée stirred in her sleep. They had chatted briefly before she had eventually closed her eyes and fallen asleep. He’d been unable to sleep, despite the tiredness that overpowered him. Thoughts of his family had taken him through a range of emotions. He was slowly coming to grips with the changes in his life—his family, Renée and Jerome. Each one of them was important to him and he was coming closer to an understanding of how each of them would fit into his life and future.

  Since Jerome’s “date” with Renée, they had connected well, right off the bat. Renée had discovered that he had a voracious appetite for reading and had presented him with the full series of Harry Potter books. Daniel had spent several hours listening to them discuss the books and watching the movies. Not his usual fare, but he’d been happy that they had bonded.

  Of course, Jerome had been unhappy that he couldn’t go with them to Barbados for the two weeks, but Daniel had promised him that they would spend the next summer on the island. He’d been adamant that Jerome not miss school. He also promised Jerome that he and Renée would call each day.

  He smiled. He’d grown to love the boy like his own flesh and blood. He couldn’t imagine his life without him. Jerome had even started calling him Dad teasingly, but he knew that for the boy it was something he wanted. The first time he’d not been sure how to react. Instead, Daniel had almost crushed him with a tight bear hug.

  As the plane descended, he gently shook Renée awake. Soon the aircraft was taxiing to Gate 12.

  Thirty minutes later, and after enduring the long lines at Immigration and Customs, Daniel and Renée stepped into the warm Bajan night.

  “Daniel! Renée! Over here!”

  They turned in the direction of the voice and there, waving like crazy, was Alana.

  “Come, Taurean is in the parking lot,” Alana said, hugging them when they reached her. “I’ll call him so he can come pick us up here.”

  She took her cell from her bag and punched in the number. Five minutes later, Taurean’s blue SUV pulled up. The luggage was quickly loaded and they were soon on their way.

  “So how was the flight?” Taurean asked, as the car pulled out onto the highway.

  “Smooth, but long,” Daniel replied. “Renée slept three of the four hours from Miami. I tried to sleep but couldn’t, so I finally watched the movie. Of course, I’d seen it three times already, so that didn’t help much.”

  There was laughter from the backseat. Renée and Alana were continuing their bonding.

  “It’s almost ten o’clock here, but Alana kept dinner warming for you. I know you must be hungry since you left Chicago early this morning. Two flights in one day can be exhausting,” Taurean said.

  “I know I’ll be sleeping as soon as my head hits the pillow. Is Mom still arriving tomorrow?” Daniel asked.

  “Yes, she’s coming with Patrick and Paula,” Taurean replied. “She doesn’t like to travel on her own. I’m trying to see if I can get her to stay on the island for a while, especially for the winter months.”

  “I can see you have no intention of going back to the U.S.,” Daniel observed.

  “No, Alana and I love it here on the island. The kids have their friends and are happy at school. The resort is doing well and Alana gets her inspiration here. We try to visit the U.S. at least once every year. We did promise the kids we would take them to Disney World next summer. Joanne is only four and she keeps talking about meeting her favorite characters.”

  “You must let me know when you’re going. I’d like to take Jerome and Renée.”

  “That’s a plan. I’ll let you know when we finalize the dates,” Taurean said.

  “We’re still here, gentlemen, feeling ignored. I know how excited you are to see each other, but…” Alana complained from the back.

  “My apologies, honey,” Taurean said, laughter evident in his voice. “But we thought you ladies wanted to catch up. It’s all but four weeks since you met and you’ve been chatting on the phone at least once a week,” he replied as the car pulled into a driveway. “I’m sure you have lots of opportunities to talk to Daniel.”

  “Of course Renée and I have been catching up,” Alana said. “She’s my new BFF.”

  “BFF?” Taurean asked. “What’s that?”

  “You don’t listen to your daughter. It means best friend forever.”

  They all laughed as the car came to a stop before a magnificent two-story house. Even in the shadows of night, the house stood majestically.

  “Welcome to our home,” Alana said as they stepped out of the car. “You’ll be able to see it better in the morning, but it’s our pride and joy. It was finished only a few months ago. The resort is about half a mile in that direction. You’ll get a chance to see it tomorrow sometime. Come on, let’s go in.”

  While Daniel and Taurean unloaded the luggage, the ladies went inside. When Daniel entered the house five minutes later, he stopped in his tracks. The interior of the house was just as beautiful as the outside. Shades of white and green gave the appearance of space and freshness. Paintings on the wall provided splashes of color, but did not detract from the mood the designer had tried to achieve; beautiful landscapes, subtle abstracts and a few portraits of the members of the family.

  “Your portrait is the only one missing,” Alana said, pointing at an empty space next to Mason’s. “Hopefully you’ll let me work on yours so it can be added. It’s been missing for too long.”

  “I’ll make the time,” he replied, his heart feeling lighter. He knew he was home.

  Daniel watched as his brother stood and stretched. They’d spent the last hour with each other. Daniel could tell by his brother’s posture that he was tired.

  Alana and Renée had disappeared after they’d eaten and he and his brother had remained on the balcony of Daniel’s room talking.

  “I have to go, my brother. I’m going to fall asleep here if I don’t retire soon. Alana told me earlier that she planned on finishing a painting tonight, so I shouldn’t expect her for a few hours.”

  “It’s fine. We have time to catch up. I don’t leave for two weeks.”

  “Well good then. I’ll see you in the morning. Renée’s room is just next door,” he said for the tenth time, a sly smile on his face.

  Daniel took the pillow off the bed and in one smooth movement threw it at his brother, who ducked, laughing loudly.

  “Missed, but I see you haven’t lost your skill.”

  “I’ve been chasing you out of my room for years. So yeah, I’ve had a lot of practice.”

  Before he knew what was happening, Taurean had crossed the room and wrapped his arms around him.

  “Damn, Bro, it’s so good to see you. You know I love you, man.”

  Daniel didn’t respond immediately. He just wanted to enjoy the love his brother so freely offered. Taurean had always been the caring one; even though Daniel had treated him as if he were the biggest sinner on earth.

  It felt strange after all these years. His brothers had always been close but he’d always been the distant one. He’d scoffed at the hugging and affection. Now he yearned for it. This bonding with his brother made him feel important, special and cared for.

  He noticed the pain in Taurean’s eyes.

  “I’m sorry,” Daniel said. “I’m glad we can have a new start. Forget the past.”

  Taurean smiled and nodded. “I know. I understand.”

  With that Taurean turned, exited the room and closed the door behind him.

  Daniel wanted to call him back to try to explain further, but it didn’t make any sense. He was scared. Caring about people scared him and he didn’t know what to do about it. But he planned to work on it.

  Renée had said that much, and maybe his time here in Barbados would help. She’d forced him to face himself, to face the unfeeling man he’d once been. But who was he now? He wasn’t even sure. A work in progress? Maybe.

  He didn’t much like who he’d been, but he knew the person he was becoming was be
tter, more in touch with his feelings.

  There was a knock on the door.

  “Come in,” he responded, expecting Renée.

  The door opened and his sister-in-law stood there.

  “I just wanted to tell you how glad we are to have you here. We missed you.”

  He scoffed at what she said, but when he looked at her he saw her sincerity and chided himself.

  “Thanks. It’s really good to be here.”

  “You’ll get to see the children in the morning. Taurean takes them to the beach every Saturday. I think they believe they are water nymphs.”

  “I can’t wait to see them.” He didn’t realize just how much until he said it.

  “I’ll see you in the morning. We usually eat breakfast when the kids and Taurean return from the beach, so if you don’t go with them, you’ll definitely see them when they return.”

  “I’m an early riser. I’ll be down early. And thanks for everything,” Daniel replied.

  “It’s no problem, Daniel. You’re family. See you in the morning.” With a final smile, she closed the door quietly behind her.

  The emptiness of the room made him realize how alone he was. He slipped out of his clothes and headed for the shower.

  Tomorrow, he would have to face his mother and brothers. Another chapter in the saga that was his life.

  There was a knock on his door. Taurean again? Didn’t his brother know he wanted to get some sleep? Jet lag was slowly creeping into his bones.

  “Come in,” he said.

  Renée walked in.

  To say he was surprised was an understatement. He ached for her, but somehow he’d expected she would stay away.

  “And how can I help you, Ms.?” he asked.

  “I hope you don’t mind if I sleep in here. I don’t want to sleep on my own. No expectations. I just want to be with you.”

  “That’s fine. This bed is large enough for the both of us.” He shifted over, giving her the left side.

  Renée joined him and slipped between the covers. She leaned over and kissed him on the lips.

  “Good night,” she said, before she placed her head on the pillow, drew closer to him and fell asleep.

  Long after, Daniel still lay awake. His body was tired and he needed to focus on sleeping, but having Renée in his arms heightened his awareness. Again he realized how much he loved having her in his arms. He didn’t know where they were going from here, but he knew he wanted her in his life permanently.

  He’d use the two weeks here to convince her that being with him wouldn’t be so bad, that they could have a good life together. Of course, he’d complicated matters with Jerome, but she had said that having Jerome around was no problem, and they had bonded easily.

  All he had to do now was hope his family liked and approved of her. Not that it totally mattered. He would never let that determine his future.

  She’d already proven herself with Alana, and Taurean had already given his blessing. He knew the others would love her. There wasn’t anything about her not to love. Renée possessed beauty inside and out, and for that alone, he loved her.

  Morning came in a blaze of glory. Daniel stood on the balcony looking out at the ocean in the distance. God’s grandeur had never been more evident than in the colors of the tropical sunrise.

  In that moment, he realized something; that he was finally ready to make peace with God. He’d been stubborn, had always been, but during his months of trying to find a peace of mind, he had failed to acknowledge a simple reality, that God was still very much a part of his life, and despite his anger and his rejection of God, He still loved Daniel.

  He’d been up for hours, unable to sleep. He inhaled the clean morning air. He could live here, but his work in Chicago was not done. There was healing in the whisper of the gentle breeze wafting against his skin and in the quiet tranquility. Daniel closed his eyes and lowered himself to his knees, reverence in his heart. Humbled, he talked to God in a way he had never done before. In the past, it had been all about him and what he wanted. Tears fell from his eyes; tears for his wife and child; and tears for the fact he’d finally come to an understanding of the unending limits of God’s love.

  He turned around, his eyes resting on the woman who lay in his bed. God had brought her into his life. She’d helped him to live again.

  Below him, he heard voices and laughter. He looked down and saw his brother and two girls. Must be Melissa and Joanne. “Taurean,” he shouted.

  His brother looked up. “I thought you’d still be sleeping. Want to go to the beach? You’ll get to see your two nieces.”

  “I’ll be right down,” he replied.

  He grabbed a shirt and rummaged around in his suitcase until he found the swim trunks he’d brought. He glanced at Renée. She was still sleeping. Oh, well, there would be time for her to get to the sea.

  He dressed quickly and left the room, rushing down the stairs. He passed Alana on the way out, kissed her briefly on the cheek and raced out the back door in record time. He came to a quick stop.

  “Morning, Uncle Daniel,” Melissa said. She’d grown so much and already possessed her mother’s beauty.

  “Morn, Uncle Dan,” Joanne said. “You look just like my daddy.”

  “Hi, Melissa. Hi, Joanne. Yes, I look like your daddy—just much better-looking,” he teased.

  “You’re funny, Uncle Dan,” Joanne said, and she reached for his hand. “You’re coming to the sea with us? I can teach you how to swim.”

  “Thanks, honey. It’s fine. I can swim, so we can spend all our time having fun.”

  “That’s good. Come on. Let’s go, Daddy. We’re already late,” Melissa said.

  Joanne led the way, holding Daniel’s hand as they walked along the rocky pathway. Soon the vast Atlantic Ocean stretched out before them.

  “Come on, let’s dive in,” shouted Melissa, already running toward the sea.

  Reaching the water’s edge, she poised and dived into the oncoming water with the skill of years of practice. Taurean followed with equal skill.

  “You ready to go in, Uncle Daniel?”

  “Yes, sweetheart, but I’ll be holding your hand as we walk or jump in. No pretty diving for me.”

  Joanne giggled. “Me, either, but I can swim good.”

  “Good,” he replied, laughing at how her chest puffed up with pride. “I can swim good, too.”

  He helped her down to the water and helped her to “jump” in.

  For an hour, they frolicked in the water, their laughter floating on the warm, tropical breeze until Joanne and Melissa drifted out to lie on the large beach towels on the sand. Soon the girls were fast asleep under an umbrella.

  Lying next to each other, the brothers absorbed the rhythm of the day—the steady splash of waves against the shore, the swaying of the tall palm trees in the wind and the occasional hawk of a seagull asserting its presence.

  “This must be paradise,” Daniel observed. Raising himself up on one elbow, he looked out to the horizon.

  “It definitely is,” Taurean replied. “I fell in love with this island from the first week I arrived. I was dealing with the guilt that threatened to overpower me. When I was in prison, I can’t remember how many times I asked God to forgive me. Twelve years later, I’m still not sure I did the right thing, but a part of me is at peace here. I did what Corey wanted me to do. I couldn’t deal with him in pain.”

  Daniel stared at his brother and for the first time he realized what Taurean had been through. He knew about suffering, and he knew about pain, just like Taurean.

  “I’m sorry, Taurean. I never realized how much your actions affected you.”

  “Daniel, it took me years to forgive myself. Maybe one day the guilt will go away completely. I know you feel the same way. You blame yourself for what happened that night to Lorraine. But you need to learn to trust in God again.”

  “It’s so much easier to say it than to feel it,” Daniel replied. “I know I’ve grown as a person. I�
�m more in tune with people and helping them. Making myself look like a deity is no longer important.

  “To be honest, Bro, I’m amazed at the change. One of the things the past few years have taught me is that forgiveness and love are so important. I love Alana so much that I can’t imagine life without her. Mason found that with Carla, Patrick and Paula found that, too. You did once and I know you can find it again. Don’t throw away a second chance to find happiness and love.”

  “I know what you mean, but so much about this relationship scares me. It’s like my relationship with Lorraine, but it’s also so different. What I had with Lorraine was gentle and controlled. With Renée I feel intense pain when I’m with her and when I’m not. My gut feels as if it’s going to rip apart with my love for her. I’m so scared at times that I wonder if it’s not love but just desire.”

  “I’ve seen the way you look at her, Daniel. I know the difference between love and desire. Just trust in your feelings and it’ll all work itself out. What you describe sounds so much like Alana and I, and after almost five years of marriage, I still feel just like you. And to be honest, at times it scares me that I can love someone so much.”

  Joanne mumbled in her sleep. The brothers laughed.

  “Boy, we’ve got it bad with this love thing,” Daniel said.

  “Yeah,” Taurean replied. “One thing I know about us Buchanans…when we love, we really love.”

  There were no more words needed, there was only the sound of the rushing waves and the rustling of the leaves above. Daniel looked out to sea, the wide expanse of ocean seemed so intimidating, but there was still peace in its vastness. In the midst of the grandeur he felt insignificant, but realized that of all that existed, he’d been given the capacity to love again. Without love, he’d ceased to exist. Now that he had allowed love back into his life, he would start to experiences life again.

  A single seagull squawked above, its sound a harsh cry that seemed at odds with the cool tranquility. In the distance, a solitary figure appeared, walking along the beach. He stood immediately, knowing it was Renée. He raised his hands waving to her, but immediately put them down.